


Becoming Alice

by Weepingangelswillrise



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Death, Depression, Family, Feelings, Roommate, School, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-19
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-04-25 01:24:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14367897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Weepingangelswillrise/pseuds/Weepingangelswillrise
Summary: Alice gets into Breakbills to study magic and to find out what happened to her brother. But what happens when she gets there, walking around through the same paths and classes her brother took. Her attempt to understand and deal with the loss of her brother may take her from fully functional member of society to a breakdown and then hopefully with help from her friends back to a semi functional student.





	1. The Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> I recently went back to the hospital where my brother died, and it brought up some feelings. Then I started to think about how Alice could have responded, what was going through her head when she came to Breakbills where her brother died. So this is an aim at exploring Alice's ability to deal with being at this place where he died learning to accept her brother's death. I'm hoping this outlet will let me get this mess of feelings out, so bear with me, and I'll take you on this roller coaster of emotions.

The school grounds unfolded in front of her, as Alice stood in the woods where the school was hidden by complex wards. She took it all in, there were students milling about and lounging in the grass, and others walking briskly as if they had someplace really important to go. She had not put that much thought into where exactly to go once she got into the school, her goal was to get into the school, which she accomplished.

Alice took a deep breath and walked through the invisible wards into the oasis that was Breakbills College. The magic here was so strong that she could feel it in the air, smiling she decided to follow a moderately socially awkward person shuffling quickly in a direction. She had no idea where she was going but it would probably lead her somewhere important.

It wasn’t long before that Alice found herself in front of a huge building. Alice took a minute to observe her surroundings, the building was surrounded by at least a hundred confused faces lighting up as their assigned mentors explained where they were. _Found it_ she thought, _today is the day that I become a magician or a student_ she shook her head from the confusing thought. She could feel her heart racing as she stepped toward the group of people, wishing she was invited and had a mentor of her own to talk to.

Opening her purse, she felt around in panic, until her hand hit the cool glass of the horse that Charlie had made her. She pulled it out and wrapped her hand around it, she smiled weakly and followed two boys who departed into the building. Inside she found herself in a huge lecture hall and there at the front of the room was the Dean, she recognized him from what Charlie had described. He stood at the front of the room looking down on the potential students, standing tall and slightly intimidating.

Alice quickly slipped into a seat in the back of the room hoping that Dean Fogg wouldn’t see her and question why she was here. At least not until after she passed the test, at least then she could defend herself as to why she was here.

She waited for what seemed like an hour for the rest of the magically adept to filter into the room. She kept her eyes down on the dark chestnut wooden table in front of her toying with the glass figurine in front of her. Silently hoping the test would start quickly, before she could be found out.

Finally, a blue book appeared in front of her. To her surprise it came with her name on it, _damn he knows_ she thought. But still she had a test, and this is all that mattered. She opened the book and took a deep breath. Putting her hand on the page she saw numbers and letters appear and then change, she closed her eyes and tried to focus herself. She glanced quickly at the glass horse and felt slightly more confident as she looked back to the page.

After some time, she put her pencil down and glanced around the room, the others were still scribbling furiously into the booklets in front of them. Alice smiled in satisfaction and sat back in her chair, waiting for the others to finish, or for time to be up, whichever came first.

“You may turn in your exams when you are finished, so we can proceed to the next steps” came Dean Fogg’s voice. He was speaking to the group as a whole, but Alice knew this was directed at her because a second glance around the room told her that no one else was near finished.

Alice inhaled deeply before gathering her bag, glass horse, and the blue book. She looked up to the front of the room, and moved slowly towards the tables set up in the front of the room where Dean Fogg awaited her. He knew before she approached him exactly who she was, and wasn’t surprised in the least bit that she had found her way here without an invitation.

When she got to the front of the room she slid her book into the wooden box, and looked up to the Dean. “Alice, somehow I knew you’d show up here” Dean Fogg offered. “Maybe we should talk in my office?” He continued and gave a nod to the other professors who were at the table, indicating that they should keep an eye on the prospective students. Alice nodded and followed Dean Fogg out of the room.

Once in the seclusion of his office, Dean Fogg opened his mouth “So how on earth did you get here Alice?” was his first question.

“When faced with a restriction of knowledge afforded to every member of your family, you get creative” Alice responded.

“Alice, you know very well why we didn’t invite you. Your parents already lost one child to Breakbills, what would it do to them if they lost another.” Dean Fogg explained, as if that fixed everything.

“Why does everyone always just consider them and their feelings” Alice shouted, her fist clenching harder around the glass horse she still held. “It’s always, why would you do that your parents are already in pain? Or think about your parents. WHAT ABOUT ME?” Alice’s voice grew higher in pitch and tears threatened to fall out of the corners of her eyes. She quickly looked down at her lap, her hands feeling every familiar nook and cranny of the glass horse.  

Dean Fogg’s face fell, unsure of how to respond. The two of them sat in the room in silence. After what seemed like an hour, he opened his mouth and asked “What about you, Alice? I suppose the proper question should be, what do you want?”

Alice looked up at him “I want to learn, I want to be great, just like him someday” she spoke quietly and methodically.

Dean Fogg glanced at her and nodded accepting this. “You’re an adult, and you can make your own decisions, despite how I imagine your parents would feel about this” he commented. “Anyway, that doesn’t excuse you from the interview, but seeing as you were not actually invited, I suppose we can do this here. Show me magic” he directed.

Alice smiled at him and knew exactly what to do. She opened her purse and rooted around for a lump of glass, she had come prepared for this moment. She placed it on Dean Fogg’s desk and closed her eyes, she could see the hand motions in her mind, and then began to mimic the gestures.

Dean Fogg watched the glass closely as it began to glow and take shape. It was stretched and pulled, and finally the shape of a small horse emerged. “Alice, I’m impressed. Usually we have to anger the students to bring out the magic, and here you are making magic, freely.” Dean Fogg commended.

Alice smiled “Thank you sir… Does this mean I can stay?” she asked.

Dean Fogg nodded “I suppose then I should assign you to a second year, to show you around, and bring you to your dorm room” he commented mostly to himself. “If you’ll just wait here, I’ll summon a second year.” He spoke again this time directed at her.

Fifteen minutes later the door opened and a short tan girl with long wavy brown hair stood in the doorway. “I’m Margo” came a voice different than she thought would come out of this girl. “And I guess your tour guide.” She commented. “So, keep your arms and legs inside the bus at all times” Margo instructed seriously despite the goofiness of the words that came out of her mouth. She gestured to Alice to follow her out of the Dean’s office.


	2. The Beginning of the Spiral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice gets a roommate who seems to be hiding something, and has a mild breakdown. This is the first time Alice is really alone to process her emotions since arriving at Breakbills.

Margo’s forced cheery demeanor was dropped the moment Alice followed her out of the office. “So, bus?” Alice questioned with a half laugh.

Margo turned to face Alice, “Don’t question me” Margo snapped back. “You’re lucky you made it out of there without getting your brain wiped” she criticized. She took a moment and gazed at Alice’s slightly horrified face, she felt kind of bad for snapping at the younger girl, she clearly was excited to be here, who wouldn’t be. “But seriously, how did you get here?” She flipped and asked genuinely interested.

“My parents came here, I took their key.” Alice responded simply starting to walk out of the building, not bothering to wait for Margo.

Margo ran after her before she could get far. “Who’s giving who the tour?” Margo asked irritated.

“I don’t need a tour, just tell me where the dorms are” Alice huffed already irritated by the company.

“We’ll get there but I gotta at least show you where the parties are.” She laughed, based on Alice’s appearance and mannerisms it did not seem like she was that kind of girl.

“No thanks, I just want the quickest way to the dorm that I will be living in” Alice rejected the offer.

Margo felt defeated but agreed to take the girl to her room, there was no sense in trying to fight her. If they came across each other later maybe she would try again.

The two girls took a short walk from the main hall where the exams were given to a tall building with dozens of windows. Looking in Alice could see that some of the students had arrived post-test. She was led up several flights of stairs before Margo silently exited the staircase and continued down a hall. Alice idly wondered why Margo hadn’t told her what room she was in, or spoken once since she agreed to take her to her room.

Margo stopped suddenly outside an open door, and Alice almost collided with the older girl. Alice looked at the wall beside the door, her name was written in black sharpie on what looked like the blank side of an index card. Above her name read the name of another girl scrawled in black sharpie, Kady Orloff-Diaz. _Well I guess it was too much to hope for a single room, and what kind of name is Kady anyway?_ She thought cynically.

“This is your stop, good luck with whatever.” Margo muttered and disappeared down the hall.

Alice peered into the room, and felt a rush of relief that the other girl had not yet arrived. Her stuff on the other hand had arrived, on each bed there were suitcases one belonged to Alice, and one she had to assume belonged to this Kady girl. Alice dropped her purse on the desk and sat at the edge of the bed, it had already been made with sheets she recognized from her home. She didn’t have energy to wonder how her stuff ended up here. She still held the glass horse Charlie had made for her, and now alone in this room, she let herself have a brief moment to feel. She traced a finger along the shape of the horse remembering how much joy she had as she watched her older brother create it, out of what she believed at the time to be thin air.

She must have been lost in the moment because a knock on the open door startled her back to the present. She looked up and a girl with long brown curls stood in the doorway, once Alice looked up the girl entered the room, as if afraid to come in while Alice was zoned out.

“I’m Kady” the girl who entered the room greeted her, before sitting down on her own bed.

“Alice” she responded curtly, not meaning to be rude, she was just startled. She offered a small smile, and gingerly placed the glass horse on her bed. “So how do you think they got all this stuff here?” Alice asked trying to make some semblance of a conversation with the stranger.

“Magic?” Kady responded lightly and gave a half-hearted laugh. “I suppose they aren’t going to magically make our beds every morning” Kady offered.

“Probably not” Alice couldn’t help but smile, at the girls attempt to break the ice. Alice knew she should try and get to know her roommate, as they would probably be spending some amount of time together, and she seemed nice enough, but today had been a long day and she was mostly out of energy. She exhaled deeply trying to find the energy to converse with her new roommate. “So where do you come from?” was the best Alice could do.

“New York, you?” Kady countered.

“Chicago” Alice answered. She wasn’t sure what to say next to this stranger who was still staring at her. “Did you know about magic before you got here?” she inquired, knowing most students did not know before they ended up here.

“No” Kady said a little too quickly, Alice could tell by that response that she was probably hiding something. “Did you?” Kady parroted her question.

“Yes” Alice said matter-of-factly “My parents both studied magic here, and so did my brother.” She clarified.

Kady looked at Alice, the look on her face conveyed something, but Alice couldn’t exactly determine what. Her blue eyes were piercing into her skin.

Alice felt uncomfortable and decided now would be a good time to change the subject, “You want to see something cool?” Alice offered, she figured showing her magic would distract her, seeing as she could tell there was something weird about this girl.

Kady shrugged and agreed, while Alice removed another clear lump of glass from her purse. She put it down on the nightstand and concentrated on it. Moving her hands and her fingers, the glass began to glow as she recreated the spell she had done for Fogg earlier that day. After a few seconds the glass resembled a horse, and it moved for a moment before solidifying in position. Alice tossed the glass figure at Kady, figured that it would be a token of peace between the two of them.

Kady caught the glass horse in her left hand, and pulled it closer to her face, examining it. “Impressive” Kady commented, gesturing to give it back.

“Keep it” Alice offered.

Kady smiled and put it down on her own nightstand. “We should probably unpack” Kady commented looking to her suitcase which was abandoned on the floor.

With that both girls made quick work of unpacking, Alice hanging her dresses in the closet, and Kady stuffing her clothes into drawers. These girls were pretty much as different as fire and water. The last thing Alice did was clear a spot on her desk for the glass horse that Charlie had made for her.

Shortly after finishing Kady announced that there was a party at the physical kids Cottage and that she was going to go “Do you want to come?” Kady asked.

“No, thanks. I think I’m gonna stay here and prepare for classes to start tomorrow” Alice declined the offer, not wanting to explain why.

“Okay, I’ll see ya around then” Kady said and disappeared out the door.

Once Kady left Alice sighed in relief. That took way more energy than she had today. She scooted further back onto her bed and pulled her knees into her chest. Her mind wandered to her red headed brother, thinking about how excited he would be that she got into Breakbills, probably also would have dragged her to the party that Kady was going to. Tomorrow she started classes, and was going to start searching for answers. She was determined to know what happened to her brother, despite her parents wanting none of it.

She heard footsteps approaching in the hall, and looked up feeling embarrassed as she noticed that no one had ever closed the door. She saw a guy with long brown hair walk past the room, presumably to his own room down the hall, before she mustered up enough energy to shut the door.

“It’s just you and me now Charlie” Alice said out loud to no one in particular. She knew it was silly, she felt silly talking out loud to her dead brother. “Why would you leave me like this” She continued a little bit softer. “I still fucking needed you” she half shouted hitting her fists into her pillow. “Stephanie and Daniel are insufferable without you” she lowered her voice to a whisper. “How can you be gone already” she fell into her pillow, and her tears started to flow. “They didn’t even want me here because of you” she added her pillow muffling the words.

She wished for a moment, that she could be like all of the other students, who were out partying without a care in the world. That none of this had ever happened, and that her brother would show up outside her room with a new glass horse to commemorate her acceptance into Breakbills.

But she knew deep down he wasn’t coming, probably didn’t even know she was here. She longed to feel him, his presence, his embrace. She tried to remember the last time she saw him, the memory was a little bit fuzzy, she couldn’t remember what they were talking about, but she remembered arguing with him. She remembered the next morning he left to go back to Breakbills and she hadn’t said goodbye, just silently stared at him until he was gone.

“I was so stupid, I should have apologized, you’re gone and the last thing we did was yell at each other” Alice cried. She dug her fingernails into her palms and slammed her fists into the pillow, collapsing in an emotional heap. After a few minutes she rolled over and faced the wall, wishing it was later, so that sleep would come and take her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am forming the basis of the next chapters and it's going to get dark fast, so buckle up.


	3. Alice Finds her Catharsis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice tries to feel something other than the numbness she has felt since she arrived at Breakbills.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't sure that this was going to take this turn, but hey you write about what you know.   
> This chapter involves what is going to be the beginnings of Alice dabbling in self harm to cope with her situation. It's not graphic, but could be uncomfortable for some individuals, so be safe.

Alice awoke from a restless sleep, she turned to the alarm clock on the nightstand, it read 4:02. She groaned and rolled back over, willing sleep to return, but having a vague notion that it would not return. _This is not working_ Alice thought miserably. Letting her mind wander, she thought about what Charlie’s first night at Breakbills must have been like. _Stop Alice, you can’t do this now, not here, you have a roommate sleeping in the bed 20 feet from you._ She commanded her brain, to not release the tears that threatened.

She got up out of bed and stumbled through the dark into the bathroom, trying her hardest not to awaken the sleeping girl in the room. She was tough, and Alice did not want to upset her. She closed and locked the door and sat on the lid of the toilet. She rested her head on the wall next to the toilet and let the sadness wash over her. Her entire body felt so numb, like she was outside watching herself suffer.

She stayed there for what seemed like a really long time, without a watch she assumed it had been hours since she got up out of bed. Her mind was empty her body felt empty, and she didn’t think she would ever have the energy to move from this position. A decent amount of time must have passed because there was a knock on the door. This shook Alice out of the funk temporarily, “Just a minute” Alice mumbled.

Alice got to her feet and turned the faucet on, she splashed cold water on her face. She felt for a towel and dried her face off before walking out of the bathroom. “Sorry” Alice mumbled to Kady as she stumbled by on her way back to her bed.

Kady gave Alice a look before making her way into the bathroom, and Alice could not tell in her state whether this look was irritation or concern.

Alice pulled the first thing her hands hit out of the closet, the benefit of wearing dresses was the lack of effort required to look put together, and not like you got dressed in the dark. Within seconds Alice pulled the dress over her head and then collapsed back into her bed. _Why does this have to be so hard?_ She thought dismally, her head buried in her pillow.

Alice heard the shower turn on in the bathroom, she probably had about fifteen minutes to herself before she would be rejoined by Kady. She gazed at her desk where there was a slip of paper detailing the schedule of their classes for the semester. Their first class was at 10:15 in some building that she would know the location of if she hadn’t bitched at Margo about a tour. _Guess I’ll have to hang out here and walk to class with Kady to figure out where this building was._ She glanced to the alarm clock on the nightstand and it read 8:30, _ugh just under 2 hours._ She envied the other girl who had been able to sleep until 8, and wondered idly if Kady had been waiting long before she decided to knock on the bathroom door.

Alice pulled a sketchbook off of her desk and decided that it would be better for her to put her feelings onto paper, maybe it would make her feel better. She flipped through the first few pages, of the book, there were dark and angry images that she had drawn through her years in high school, to deal with her weird and frustrating family. Then further in the book the anger turned into sadness, and sadness turned back into anger. Her drawings were not of things, they were just lines and shading, and shapes sometimes, but the shape of the lines and the harshness of the strokes of pencil told a lot about how she was feeling when she did them. The really heavy and sharp lines mostly gave off the anger she felt, and the softer lines that had lighter shading were more sad than angry. She never drew when she was happy, so the emotions that were within the notebook were limited to these more negative and desperate emotions.

She flipped to a blank page and thought for a moment, she did not know how to convey the hollowness she was feeling. How to symbolize the empty space she felt inside, the blank page felt like home. She started shading at the edges and created a blank circle in the middle of the page, usually she started to feel better, but she did not, she still felt exactly the same. She felt almost desperate to feel something, maybe try again, maybe something different would give her the cathartic release she desired. She slid her hand along the page to flip to the next page a little too quickly, the thick paper bit into her hand and little beads of blood formed at the surface. She looked down at her finger, she quickly put her finger in her mouth to clean off the blood, and noticed something. The world around her stopped being quite so muted, this small event just pulled her from the numbness she felt pulled down by. She pulled her finger from her mouth and watched the blood trickle out, and sighed, she felt some weird relief.  

Kady walked out of the bathroom and startled Alice from her thoughts. “You alright?” Kady asked concerned. “Every time I walk into the room it feels like you are spooked.” She commented.

“Um yea, sometimes I just get lost in my thoughts, and stop paying attention to the rest of the world.” Alice admitted, without technically lying.

Kady nodded her head, accepting the excuse but not totally sure if she believed the new girl. “You ready for class? Figured we could walk over together” Kady asked to avoid what would have become an awkward silence.

“Yeah, do you know where we’re supposed to go, I kinda blew off my tour yesterday.” Alice admitted slightly embarrassed.

“Ya, I gotchu” Kady said and sat down on her bed. “We’ll leave in like half an hour” Kady continued looking at the time.

“Okay” Alice responded grateful for her roommate. She flipped the page again and held the pencil slightly too tight in her hand as she began to sketch this new feeling that she had, not exactly happy, but also not exactly down. She looked up briefly and noticed that Kady was sitting perched on her bed her hands on her knees and her eyes closed, _never would have pegged this girl for a yoga junkie_ Alice thought interchanging yoga and meditation, before shutting her notebook and placing the stack of books for class into her backpack. It had been almost a half an hour and she didn’t know if she should let Kady know or if it would be rude to interrupt her peace.

Alice glanced at the time, getting a little antsy about leaving, before staring at Kady who was still silent. Kady opened one eye feeling Alice’s eyes staring into her, feeling a little irritated she glanced at the clock. “We got 5 minutes, chill” she stated as she unfurled her legs and got to her feet.

Alice watched as Kady shoved some books into her bag and shoved her feet into a pair of boots. “Let’s go kid” Kady commanded, and the pair left the room together.  


	4. Alice in Search of Answers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice goes off in search of answers and along the way meets Quentin who suggests asking Margo.

During class Alice sat toward the back of the room trying not to be noticed. Normally she would have opted for the front row, where she firmly believed the best learning occurred, but she didn’t want to deal with the possibility that she would be called on. She wasn’t in the mood to try to pretend she didn’t know as much as she did, so that people wouldn’t judge her, she just wanted to be left alone. To her own thoughts and devices. She managed to scribble a few notes on the lesson down in her notebook before she disappeared into her own thoughts.

Alice was so lost in her thoughts she didn’t realize when class ended, until Kady tapped her on the shoulder on her way out. “Alice, ya all right?” she asked concerned, she had only known Alice for a day but in that day, she had not come into a room or walked up to her when she wasn’t lost in her own head.

“Yeah, I’m fine…” Alice offered collecting her belongings and shoving them into her backpack.

“Alright, whatever.” Kady stalked off with a tall tan guy who she didn’t quite recognize.

She knew that it was time for her to finally find some information out, to learn what happened. Believing that if she had information it would somehow make it hurt less, or remove the void in her chest left when her brother died or went missing. She idly thought about going to the library to begin, but she really didn’t think the library would help her find out what happened to him. _Charlie was a physical kid, so the best place to start would be… the cottage?_ Alice thought out the best way to obtain information. _Now where was the cottage_ she thought idly, looking up to see that the only student left in the room was a guy with long brown hair, that desperately needed to be cut in her opinion. _Maybe this boy knows where I can find the cottage_ she thought wishing she hadn’t brushed Kady away.

“Hey” Alice called out to the guy who was bumbling awkwardly around the front of the room.

He looked almost shocked that someone was talking to him. “Me?” he asked confused.

“Yea, do you have any idea where the cottage is?” she asked pushing her hair behind her ears.

“Uhh, yeah. Do you want me to show you?” He asked running his through his hair, nervously.

Alice smiled gently, “That would be great, thank you” Alice responded picking up her bag from the floor and swinging it over her shoulder. This was it, she was finally going to get some information, which was both exciting and nerve wracking, causing her heart to race.

As they started walking there was this heavy silence between them. “So how was the first class for you?” Alice asked the first question that came to her mind.

“It was uh, okay. This whole thing is mind blowing, you know?” He admitted shyly.

“So, I take it you didn’t grow up knowing magic?” Alice asked.

“No, I guess I always believed that magic was real, but no, I had no idea” He offered in response. “I never even thought about the possibility that there were people here who grew up with this.” He continued his thought.

“I can’t imagine how surreal the experience is for you” Alice said “Coming from a world where this was all fantasy, and all of a sudden realizing all of the things you had been missing all this time” She commented gesturing to the groups of people outside off the path practicing all sorts of magic.

He nodded as he veered off on a side path leading toward the cottage. “Yea, but for the first time I really feel like I belong” he offered. “So why the field trip to the cottage?” He asked making conversation.

Alice looked down at the path, hesitating thinking about what to tell him. They were having such a good conversation she didn’t want to bring him down. “I uh, need some information on a physical student from a few years ago.” She offered him, not necessarily a lie but not all of the truth either.

“Oh, uh… Do you know who you are going to ask when you get in there?” He asked as they approached the door.  

Alice stopped suddenly she hadn’t gotten that far. “I am not sure” she admitted slightly embarrassed.

“I have a suggestion, this girl her name is Margo, if something happened she knows about it” he offered.

“That is really helpful thank you” Alice said as he knocked on the door.

The door swung open and just beyond the door stood a tall man with dark curly hair. “Quentin darling, what can I do for you?” came his voice both sassy and smooth.

Alice realized at this point that she never asked the guy she was with what his name was. She now could identify him as Quentin.

“Hi, Eliot, this is ummm, I never actually asked what your name is” Quentin began before turning to Alice.

“Oh, I’m Alice” she offered, slightly embarrassed.

Quentin started again “Alice was looking into a physical kid from several years ago, I told her that if anyone knew something Margo would” he explained.

“Of course, Alice” the man with the dark curls extended his hand to her, “I’m Eliot, come on in and I’ll get her for you” he stated closing the door behind them.

Alice walked in behind Eliot and Quentin, looking around the room taking note of her surroundings. She wondered idly if her discipline would be physical like her brother. She was so distracted by her thoughts she barely heard Eliot call out “Bambi!” beckoning Margo.

“What El?” A tan girl who was on the shorter side shouted back, before appearing from down the hallway.

“Margo, where are your manners.” Eliot scolded playfully. “This is Alice, she wanted to know if you knew anything about a physical kid from a few years back.” Eliot introduced her, before grabbing hold of Quentin’s hand and disappearing out the door.

Margo nodded curtly before gesturing to Alice to have a seat. “So, what can I do for you Alice?” Margo asked taking a seat at the sofa across from her.

“I am trying to find out what happened to a physical kid, his name was Charlie Quinn, he would have been a student here about five years ago” Alice asked trying not to react when she said his name out loud, knowing that at some point this conversation would have to come but not quite ready for it yet. It was never a good topic to discuss when first meeting someone, always left the room silent and tense.

Margo tilted her head and her eyes narrowed, she stood like this for a minute. “I think I might know someone we could talk to” she said finally smiling. “Do you want to go now?” Margo questioned.

Alice nodded and opened her mouth to say she didn’t need company, but almost like she could read her mind “You’re not going alone kid” Margo added “I love a good adventure” she smiled not realizing the seriousness of this mission.

“Okay, let’s go, the sooner I can figure this out the better” Alice mumbled following Margo out of the room.


	5. Alice Finds Them

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alice and Margo go off in search of answers.

Margo led Alice through a peculiar door that didn’t seem like it led anywhere special except maybe a walk-in closet. Suddenly Alice found herself on a busy street in a town she didn’t recognize, she didn’t pause to ponder how they ended up here, and she was sure to find out why they were here.

“That is who we are looking for” Margo gestured to a woman in her late twenties with brown hair tied up into a tight bun. “Emily” Margo called “Emily Greenstreet?” Margo called.

Emily turned to look at the source of the voice, and in some way could recognize where they had come from, and turned to try to escape. She had fled that world and was not about to be dragged back into it.

Margo grabbed Alice’s hand dragging her along as she ran briskly after the very professional looking woman. “Emily, we just have one question” Margo insisted after catching up to her.

“What do you want from me?” she spat.

“We’re from Breakbills” Margo began.

“I can tell, please just leave me alone. I left that life a long time ago.” Emily pleaded.

“We just needed to ask about someone from your class, a boy by the name of Charlie Quinn” Margo insisted.

Alice felt her face involuntarily flinch, and her stomach drop when she heard his name come out of someone else’s mouth. She hoped Margo hadn’t noticed this, she didn’t need the pity, that she knew was going to come.

Emily’s eyes grew wider and her face paled. “I can’t do this right now, just leave me alone” Emily begged turning to leave.  

Alice look at the woman for a moment debating whether or not the information was worth letting this stranger she had to go to school with know this deeply personal thing about herself. Deciding that she came all this way it was now or never she opened her mouth. “Wait, I need to know, Charlie was my brother” Alice said out loud her voice shaking slightly.

Both Emily and Margo turned to look at Alice. Emily had a look of sorrow on her face and Margo’s expression was unreadable which was probably a good thing.

“I just need to know” Alice whispered.

Emily nodded slightly accepting that today she would have to relive her past. “Let’s go someplace more private to talk” she offered leading Alice and Margo to a bench in a more secluded area of the park they were in.

The three of them sat down and Emily began to explain. First, she explained that she had fallen for a certain professor who no longer wanted her, feeling like she could hook him she tried casting a spell to make herself more beautiful. It ended horribly wrong and she had gone out to the fountain intending to kill herself. “Your brother saved me” Emily said, “he just wouldn’t give up on me he went and found a spell to fix my mistake, it was just too powerful, and he didn’t have enough, it would have required several magicians to properly execute the spell,” she continued. “It was too much, the magic it burned right through him.”

“What are you saying?” Alice asked her voice soft almost fragile.

“Do you know what a niffin is?” Emily asked.

Alice thought for a minute that she had heard this word but wasn’t sure, she glanced at Margo who didn’t seem like she was following either, and then shook her head.

“A niffin is a creature of pure magic, it happens when a spell is too strong for a magician. The magic burns away all of the human parts of you, leaving only the magic behind.” Emily offered.

“So, he’s not gone?” there was almost a hint of hope in her voice.

Emily put a hand on her knee “Oh honey, he’s not there anymore. Not the brother you knew” her voice full of pity.

Alice hated this, she never wanted anyone’s pity. But now she had this new information, and she was going to find out all she could about niffins. She would look up everything from what they were to case studies of people trying to bring back their humanity. She was going to find him and bring him home.  

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it's a little slow at the beginning, setting up the story seemed a little bit slow, but it'll pick up.


End file.
